You discovered homeschooling over the summer and decided not to send your children back to school in the fall. Or in your excitement you withdrew them from school mid-year. Maybe your kids have just reached school-age and you chose not to send them in the first place. Wherever you’re coming from doesn’t much matter today; the kids are home and you’re starting to wonder, “Now what?!”
Deschooling is the process of examining your ideas about learning: what it looks like, where it can happen, when it can happen etc. It’s about discovering how many of your thoughts are steeped in school-y language, how much of what you observe is filtered through a school-based lens: How much can they be learning when they are just watching TV? My child likes when I read to her but she won’t try the early readers I bought – how can I get her interested in learning to read before it’s too late?
If your child has been in school for a few years he too may need a few months to de-stress and discover that the differentiation that school makes and encourages – that you learn in school and play at home – is artificial. As he relaxes and plays, over time he will begin to see how much he is learning along the way. And as a parent, you’ve likely spend many more years in school and consequently school’s narrow definitions of learning are more ingrained, meaning you’ll likely need even longer to work through your view of learning, removing the school-y lens and seeing joy and learning co-existing in your child’s everyday life.
To support this transition time, it really helps to consciously choose to “take a few months off”, look at it like an extended summer vacation, no matter the season. That will take the pressure off of the idea that the “kids need to be learning”. And in conjunction with that you’ll spend some time learning about learning and unschooling. During this time you’ll likely come to appreciate that learning is not confined to school buildings, or exclusively sparked by curriculum; it happens almost organically when people are interested and engaged. And hanging out with your children you’ll begin to see it in action as they have fun! After a while you’ll start to see the bigger picture of how one interest led to another and to another, the learning connections they are making.
Deschooling is a wonderful loop of reading about an unschooling idea, mulling it over and considering your own related experiences, observing it in action with your kids, and really consolidating it for yourself as these all come together; then starting again with another unschooling idea.
Let’s go back to the question “Now what?” What does your family like to do? What if this really was summer vacation, what would you do? Now’s the time to have fun and explore the world together! Movie marathons, trips to the zoo or the museum or the ice cream shop, bike rides into town, hikes in the park, weekend trips to the city, leisurely board games and animated video games (or vice versa), mega Lego towns, exploding volcanoes, origami frogs, homemade play-dough, colour mandalas, build snow forts, climb trees, go tobogganing, play with animals at the shelter, decorate the house for Halloween, make finger puppets, make hand puppets, put on a play, go swimming, read stories, roast marshmallows, jump in the leaves. Just a few ideas to get you started.
And while you guys are busy out and about, or curled up together under a blanket, or hunched over a puzzle, take the time to learn about your kids, to see the world through their eyes. What do they like to do? Do they like their sandwiches with or without crust? Do they like to question and talk during movies (the wonders of the pause button!) or sit quietly and focused through it and discuss it later? Do they like to fall asleep with you or in their own room? With or without a night light? Do they like baths or showers? Show them the consideration and respect you would show a close friend and watch your relationships blossom.
